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Lloyds have announced yet another “independent” enquiry into how best to screw UK small businesses.

Entitled –Who’s Shafting Who? The independent enquiry will be chaired by Dr Wendy Piatt

Dr Piatt, who has held a variety of positions with major bankers including Lloyds CEO Antbonio Horty Nosorio, says-
“I’m determined to get to the bottom of the cesspit that is UK bonking. My report will take long enough for people to forget why I’m doing it and will never see the light of day”

“Dr Piatt, 38-24-36, was selected because of her irrefutable, intercoursal indisputable, indefatigable, independence” says Lloyds Chairman Lord Blackwell- “She’s also got lovely legs and great tits”.

For further information please contact the Lloyds Press Office: